"Beauty confronts us with the requirement that we place ourselves among...the redeemers, the leaders in the protection of life. Once you have seen the bush on fire, you are not going to get out of the assignment unless you close your eyes to the beauty.... [You] either have to close your eyes or go back to Egypt and set the people free." - Rev. Dr. Rebecca Parker, "Rising to the Challenge of Our Times"

Monday, September 08, 2008

The Universe According to Sarah Palin

Did you know that in her free time, when not on the campaign trail or being a loving mom to her five children, Sarah Palin enjoys clubbing baby seals and shooting wolves from low-flying aircraft? With a high-caliber rifle she learned to use in the family's stay at a right-wing militia retreat. She said a lot of compelling things in her convention speech and later condensed versions of it, so it's easy to forget the part where she informed the crowd that the earth is actually flat and located at the center of the galaxy, and the sun moves around it as is obvious to anybody who watches the sky, and was met with cheers and chants of "Flat! Flat! Flat!"

It's such a relief to make up whatever stories you like about other people and yourself and without concern for accuracy. I'm learning from Sarah Palin already, that if a fact doesn't serve your purpose, out with it! Make a new one. Either that, or just stick with the script they give you even if it means you will have to utter boldfaced lies. I hope her kids have picked up on these principles too, as they need to soak up as much of their mother's wisdom as they can during the brief periods that she'll actually be seeing them.

7 comments:

adam said...

Wow baby seals? Really? But dey haz a bukkit!

Srsly though, it is easy to be sucked in by her tractor beam. After watching her for 30 seconds I started liking her, but I didn't have a clue what she said...

Emily said...

Try just listening to her on the radio. Not so pleasant.

They say Adolph Hitler was wildly charismatic too. And everybody thought Ted Bundy was the nicest guy. And the witch in Hansel & Gretel had a house made out of candy and gingerbread, just like Sarah Palin's house. I've heard that she feasts on human flesh..."Baked Alaska" means something quite different in her kitchen...

hmr said...

And they say it's the TRUTH that will set you free. Ha.

Indie said...

Yes, she seems to be the perfect candidate, having already read and re-read the chapter in the Republican Playbook about how to create your own reality and get other people to buy into it.

(I might have to re-tell your ginger bread house joke ;))

M.A. said...

i'm not understanding why a mother (or a father, for that matter) would join the ticket for VP with a 4 month old baby. Attachment problems, anyone? Seems like anyone (mothers and fathers) with young children should be prohibited from running for prez or vice prez.

Emily said...

Hmm. When I posted this I didn't realize that she actually DOES shoot animals from aircraft and / or supports the practice. I thought I was making that up and here it's true after all. Funny.

If I may drop the satirical tone for a minute, I think the answer to M.A.'s question is that anybody who shoots wolves from the air or supports the practice has a seriously impaired sense of the value of life. This is completely senseless, coldblooded killing. She doesn't care what happens to their pack, how much can she care about hers?

I intend to limit my criticism to her and not make fun of her innocent children, who I hope have a wonderfully attentive father. You just have to wonder if she thought of her kids' names while shopping at Ikea, though that seems to be the least of their troubles. That poor little baby. How can people who claim to be such defenders of the family stand the sight of Sarah Palin? Bloody hypocrites.

hmr said...

Interesting study done, in relation to factual assertions v. misinformation.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/14/AR2008091402375.html