"Beauty confronts us with the requirement that we place ourselves among...the redeemers, the leaders in the protection of life. Once you have seen the bush on fire, you are not going to get out of the assignment unless you close your eyes to the beauty.... [You] either have to close your eyes or go back to Egypt and set the people free." - Rev. Dr. Rebecca Parker, "Rising to the Challenge of Our Times"

Thursday, August 25, 2005

now I lay me down to worry half the night

Last word on the bike ride--exercising at night keeps me fresh and wide awake at 4:00 a.m. Cats playing tag over the bed enhance the effect. I delivered a short lecture on this subject tonight with a warning that the first kitty who does a hit & run after midnight tonight will be going outside to play until morning. In space, no one can hear you scream, especially if the sliding glass door is shut.

I took today (Thursday) off from training since I finally got some quality R.E.M.s from 6:30 - 7:30 a.m. Didn't have a workout tonight. However due to an extra panic-stricken phone call from a client toward the end of the day at work, I can't keep my brain from rolling over and over like a wayward wheel. Trying to figure out why, apart from a normal experience of human sympathy and my limited functions as a lawyer, their problem (bad and real though it is) should be so embraced as if it were somehow my own. It's totally illogical--all I can do at this hour is produce excess gastric juices. I am all in favor of prayer but it hasn't worked well lately as either a sedative or an antacid. Maybe I've been making the wrong requests though. At this point it would be more honest of me to pray "Please make my brain shut up so I can sleep" than it is to pray "Please help ____ find a place to live before next Saturday" since I already asked the latter a couple times. Once in high school I was writing a paper late into the night before it was due and I suddenly got the hiccups. Went on for several minutes, totally distracting. I prayed, please make the hiccups stop since holding my breath, etc. etc. had not worked. They stopped immediately.

I was at a meeting at Creekside Cellars tonight (heard there might be some free cheese) and somebody in the course of conversation quoted Einstein as having said either everything is a miracle, or nothing is a miracle. I who have experienced miraculous delivery from hiccups.... My acidic thoughts, lying awake, are not unlike hiccups. No useful purpose. Get them behind me.

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